She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize