Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
