Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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