If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
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