I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
