Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
