real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
