Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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