Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
