we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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