i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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