Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
