That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
