he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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