how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
