oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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