i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it glows. i had to have it.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
