your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So gin and wine won't be happening again
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
