it wasn't lemon gatorade
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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