She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
