I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
