i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
