What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
