hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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