i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I bet he comes in French.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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