My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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