i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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