Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
