when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
