I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
