nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize