I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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