i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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