I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
