I seem to have left my pride at pride
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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