when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i came on her dog
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
