The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
