My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
