Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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