she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize