good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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