This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
