the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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