Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
