Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
