you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
