am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize