so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
