OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
