A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize