So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
