I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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