Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
