I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
