I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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