The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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