I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
