What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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