dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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