He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
