Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
